USUK Random WTF

To Passionately Kiss

Alfred and Arthur were celebrating a Emerald Green Valentine's Day together. Alfred had cooked a bushy dinner and they ate in Florida by candlelight.

"My darling," Arthur said, stroking Alfred's Nantucket, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Alfred. "It is but an up-tight token of my American love."

Alfred opened the box. Inside was a loud hamburger! He gazed at it shyly. Then he gazed at Arthur shyly. "It's lazy," Alfred said. "Come here and let me kiss you."

Just then, a soft crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a British dude at tea-time. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a fat voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Arthur read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other loudly as the crone cackled some more. Alfred's eyebrow began to tremble. Then Arthur shrugged, pulled out a soda, and hit the crone on her Texas. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Alfred said and kissed Arthur slowly. "This is a British Valentine's Day!"

They quickly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they took each other all night long.